Monday, November 08, 2010

Brain Rules: The #1 mistake parents make with praise (VIDEO)

Brain Rules: The #1 mistake parents make with praise (VIDEO): "Rather than praising him for being smart, they should have praised him for working hard. On the successful completion of a test, they should not have said, 'I'm so proud of you. You're so smart.' They should have said, 'I'm so proud of you. You must have really studied hard.' Big difference. This appeals to your child's controllable effort rather than to mysterious, unchangeable talent. It's called 'growth mindset' praise"

3 comments:

sorel top said...

Good article. We're having those issues with Anya where she doesn't want to make the effort if the subject matter doesn't come easily to her.

There is a point however, where effort isn't enough either. That was my wall with calculus.

Also, there is something to be said for letting kids pursue their gifts and talents instead of being well-rounded in every subject. I doubt we'll get Michelangelos, Einsteins and Bachs from requiring every kid to put in enough effort to be good at every subject.

Veronica said...

We are implementing this in a big way to encourage action and tangible behaviors in Max and the future adoption. I also agree with recognizing personal limitations. I want for my children to understand that you can work very hard at something but sometimes you may not have the “natural knack” for something you love or desire but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it to your own level. Also the curse of natural ability that I want to teach my kids to understand – “no one can ever be the best at anything because in a competitive world someone will come along and best you and someone will best them, etc.” – you have to keep working at thing even when you think you have conquered them.


I would have worked very hard at being a dancer because I have a good sense of rhythm but a spinal birth defect being large boned and top heavy are not assets to this profession. HA! Instead, I am a natural geek and try to work at that with some level of ease and sometimes laziness.

sydney said...

There are some basic characteristics needed for most every pursuit and while not emphasized in the video, it is a fact. But, I like how you emphasized enjoying it at your own level.