Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Some small satisfaction... heh heh


Visions of an amish dominatratix. Thanks Mm. Such curious visuals haunted me for hours.

In other pain infliction news.... I managed to finally get a little satisfaction from allhell Alltel. No, they didn't part with any money or give me a free phone, that's probably unthinkable, BUT.... I got a refurbished samsung wafer and the celltop feature didn't work.

Now, seriously, I don't really care about the celltop, but if it's free I'd like it to work and part of me must enjoy fighting with Alltel. Maybe that's why I keep them as a provider. I don't know. Some sort of sick relationship. Anyway, the telephone based tech support couldn't solve the problem and routed me to a local shop. Said they needed to update the software via their little computer flash process. I figured this was BS because my phone has a software update feature which works. Nonetheless, my bill was paid up, I own all my phones, I didn't really need celltop, so I decided to go hassle an Alltel representative on principle.

My son Nick went with me, which was good. A young man needs to learn how to interact with telcoms and he was upset because he'd paid for Tetris and somehow it had been deleted from his phone.

We sign in. The associate takes me to his desk. Nick walks with me. We sit down. I settle in. The rep asks what he can do for me. I tell him it's all in the account notes. I'll wait. He reads. Tries a few things with the phone, tells me it'll take 30 minutes to do the flash. I say OK and Nick and I walk around. Nick says, "30 minutes! I don't want to wait that long." I tell him it's a ruse. They say 30 minutes so you don't get angry about the 10 ten it will actually take. Nick looks doubtful, but I'm right. We return to the desk and the rep looks a little despondent and breaks the news to me that it didn't work and he doesn't know what's wrong. He says I'll have to call tech support.

I settle back in my chair, smile, and say, "No. You call tech support. That way I don't get handed back and forth."

At this point, Nick gets up and leaves. He told me later he didn't want to be there if things got ugly.

They didn't, of course, at least not for me. The rep dutifully called Alltel. Three times he tried unsuccessfully to navigate the automated routing system. The second time he was even told to call back and press the right numbers. At that point, he growled, "He could of transferred me with two buttons." His chin got lower to the desk. Eventually, he gets a human and they go through all the same things he's already done with the tech support dude neatly evading all the reps direct questions. The poor rep looks increasingly put out and when the tech support dude brightly said, "Have I answered all your questions, today?" There was a pause. The rep looked down at his phone, finger hovering over the 'End' button. Finally he says, "Yes," and pokes the button. Then turns to me, fully irritated and frustrated.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. You could get a new phone, but you probably don't want a contract."

I grin. "You're right. I don't, thanks for trying though. Just watching you work has been pretty satisfying. Share the love.*"

Nick returns, a scowl on his face. He had waited 45 minutes only to be told he had to purchase it again if he wanted Tetris because he must have deleted it. Ah. The edification of the young. Almost too satisfying for one afternoon.

* "Share the love" Alltel's new tagline.

7 comments:

Adrian_O said...

AHHH! the joys of ALLHELL. Can't live with them and you can't live without em...well maybe we can.

K Olivera said...

I feel your pain. I have had several fights with them recently and the latest was Friday. Went from store, to online to customer service via phone to different customer service number via phone and received different answers each time. Thinking of switching to sprint. . .

sda said...

beautiful. well played syd.

bluecolnago said...

i think that if i had to choose a sick relationship with one or the other i'd choose the amish dominatrix. cell phone companies, well, you know what i mean.... :)

Chris said...

That's hilarious. I absolutely can't stand dealing with mobile phone people. And I have dealt with a lot of them. Thank god now my company just provides a Blackberry for me and if it screws up I just call our IT people and they deal with it.

sydney_b said...

@blue, yeah, I know. You're never gonna win one with the telcom, no pleasure no way

@k_olivera, I almost did that. I went to sprint's website and you can text message with a rep and they know what's going on and I was super impressed by the customer service on the front end. BUT... to switch, it would mean 4 new phones which could only be secured affordably with a contract, and I WILL NOT be bound by a telcom. I may stick with Alltel, but by golly, if they push me over the edge, I'm going to make sure I can afford to throw my phone against the wall and storm out. :D

@adrian, isn't that the truth. We lived w/o them once, long ago, but honestly, I love having my phone. I use everything so much from the camera, to the texting, to the stopwatch, to the calculator. I can't tell you the times I've whipped that out in a grocery store to discover what was on sale was a mere masquerade and the other size was a better deal.

@Chris, you're living too posh. You're going to lose edge and not be mean enough to open your can of whoopass in a crit. ;)

Marc said...

they need to take some lessons from Saris. Saris costumer service is great.